It's the actions and inactions of individuals in an organization that make up the organization's culture, but a single office bully can create a hostile climate in any organization. A group of bullies can create an enduring Culture of Fear. Bullies terrorize their office with harassment, intimidation, exclusion, retaliation, and professional marginalization. Bullies encourage their co-workers to bully their target -- and the target's co-workers may reluctantly participate due to their own fear of being bullied or ostracized by the bully and the bully's social group. (see Mobbing) It's a sad situation for an organization to be in.
Bullying behavior won't stop on it's own, but you have help. The Stop Office Bullying tm workshop can help you start to change the Culture of Fear in your organization and make bullying behavior unacceptable. And while you can change the culture, don't expect the bullies to admit they acted like bullies even when presented with irrefutable evidence of their behavior. They will never see themselves as bullies no matter how much evidence is presented to them. Focus on changing the culture and bullying behavior, not on changing the attitudes and beliefs of individual bullies.
Bullying behavior won't stop on it's own, but you have help. The Stop Office Bullying tm workshop can help you start to change the Culture of Fear in your organization and make bullying behavior unacceptable. And while you can change the culture, don't expect the bullies to admit they acted like bullies even when presented with irrefutable evidence of their behavior. They will never see themselves as bullies no matter how much evidence is presented to them. Focus on changing the culture and bullying behavior, not on changing the attitudes and beliefs of individual bullies.
Bullies, even when they acknowledge an apology is needed, they don't know how to make one.
Here is an excellent article on, "How to Spot a Fake Apology"
Here is an excellent article on, "How to Spot a Fake Apology"
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Bullying is... “Persistent verbal and nonverbal aggression at work, that includes personal attacks, social ostracism, and a multitude of other painful messages and hostile interactions."
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“Bullying is the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others. The behavior can be habitual and involve an imbalance of social or physical power. It can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of class, race, religion, gender, sexuality, appearance, behavior, or ability.”
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Workplace bullying is pervasive. The 2007 Workplace Bullying Survey showed:
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The targets of bullies typically "refuse to be subservient, are technically more skilled than their bully, are well liked, are ethical and honest, and abhor workplace politics."
(from a 2003 study on bullying in the workplace by the Workplace Bullying Institute) |
Karma can strike back!
Sometimes people get what's coming to them. The four co-workers who bullied me have:
#1. Been fired and fired again.
#2. Fired and ostracized by her former co-workers,
#3. Left by her live-in boyfriend after 20 years, and
#4. Begged for forgiveness on Facebook for being a bad husband, father, and a bad friend to everyone he knows.
Why did I ever want to be friends with these people anyway?!
Sometimes people get what's coming to them. The four co-workers who bullied me have:
#1. Been fired and fired again.
#2. Fired and ostracized by her former co-workers,
#3. Left by her live-in boyfriend after 20 years, and
#4. Begged for forgiveness on Facebook for being a bad husband, father, and a bad friend to everyone he knows.
Why did I ever want to be friends with these people anyway?!
Many of the unattributed quotes, ideas and research results included in this workshop are from the excellent book, The Bully-Free Workplace: Stop Jerks,, Weasels, and Snakes from killing your organization by Gary and Ruth Namie.